Too polite to say it? We're not.
selfies.co.uk is an AI that looks at your selfie and tells you exactly what your mates are thinking but would never say to your face.
How it works
- Take or upload a selfie. Bathroom mirror, car selfie, gym pump, wedding guest. All welcome, all doomed.
- The AI picks it apart. The pose, the face you're pulling, the lighting, the filter, and especially the pile of washing you thought nobody would notice.
- You get roasted. A score out of 10, a nickname you didn't ask for, the roast itself, and an image to share with people who'll enjoy it far too much.
What you're in for
/10
House rules
- 🔞 It's 18+.
- It swears. A lot. If that's not your thing, this really isn't your site.
- 🤖 It's an AI doing comedy.
- Not a person, and not personal. It doesn't know you. It just knows your ceiling fan.
- 📉 The scores are harsh.
- Most selfies land somewhere between 2 and 6. Anything over 7 is basically a compliment, so frame it.
- 🐶 Pets are fair game.
- Dogs, cats, the odd tortoise. It'll roast them, and probably you for taking the photo.
- 🙅 Kids get sent home.
- If someone looks under 18, there's no roast, just a polite "come back when you're older". Their photo isn't kept.
- 🚫 Some things it won't touch.
- Nudity, gore, anything genuinely upsetting. It'll decline, and you'll need a different photo.
- 🤝 Only roast people who are up for it.
- Your own face is fair game. Your mate's is fine if they've agreed. Your ex's isn't.
Your photo
Your photo is sent to our AI provider (our AI provider) to write the roast, under terms that don't let them train their AI on it. We keep it for up to 30 days so we can keep the site running and deal with any problems, then it's deleted automatically. We never sell it, and there are no accounts, adverts or tracking cookies. The full details are in the privacy page.
Who's behind it?
A small independent side project, made in the UK, that got slightly out of hand. Questions, or want your photo deleted now? Email [email protected].